Being A Business Owner

This video is me talking about being a business owner. I own a mortuary, Exquisite Family Mortuary, located in Inglewood, CA. I talk about about some of the struggles I deal with. 

Black People: Why Don't We SUPPORT One Another?

Growing up I was taught about "hate" and it not being nice to hate people. We were taught about racism in school and how the "white people" hated us and treated us like trash which resulted in slavery for many many years. Now that we have reached 2013, and slavery is a thing of the past, and racism is not nearly as bad as it use to be, why do we "hate" one another? It baffles me the fact that our forefathers fought so hard for many years so that we could be free from bondage and to end hatred of our race, yet we hate on one another. We are killing each other dead in the street. We can't stand to see someone else come up. We complained for years that we didn't have enough "Black Businesses", but now that we do we'd rather support the non black businesses that only want to rip us off then to help build the small black owned businesses, help them grow so that they can eventually become one of those "big" companies.

Starting a Business










Starting a business is extremely costly (I should know). Maintaining that business becomes not only costly but a struggle as well. Because most black businesses are started with no real working capital, it's hard to maintain and do everything necessary to generate business on a consistent basis such as marketing and advertising. Those two things are key in building a business, well besides knowing the "right" people. If you don't have that, your business will fold no question. However, there are ways that many businesses that don't have the means to advertise and market their businesses are taking advantage of such as social media. Many businesses are gravitating to social media networks such as Facebook, Twitter, Google, YouTube  etc, to get the word out about their businesses. This is an easy and cost efficient way to market a business on a limited budget. They post information about their business on those sites and hope that people will see it, support, and share the information. But, it's a struggle to get the support needed.


Why Don't We Want Each Other To Be Successful?

It's TRUE whether you want to believe it or not, black people don't want to see other black people succeed! It's crazy but its a harsh reality. We see someone trying to make it and we ignore their hustle. I'm not referring to the many black people we see trying to sell products on the street: boot-leg DVD's/CD's, incense, t-shirts, etc. I'm talking about those actual black owned businesses that are legit and trying to do something positive for the community. We see a black entrepreneur grinding and won't even ask how we can help. My theory is that we are afraid that if that person succeeds, we will be left behind still stuck in our same situation. Or, we just simply hate one another and just don't want to help. But again, that's just my theory. "If I help this person succeed and all of a sudden they have the means to be able to buy nice things, move into a better neighborhood, purchase a nice car, then where does that leave me?" Is that how you think? I'm not really sure why the support is not there, but I do know that we need to change our way of thinking. 


Other Races
We talk about the Hispanic community about how they all live together and pile into one car, but they support one another. Same goes for the Asian community, Caucasians, and so forth. They support one another, help each other build a business and then they patronize that business. For instance, how many times have you seen a Taco Truck all of a sudden appear on a corner? Then months or so later they have an actual business either in that same spot or in another location near by. We talk about them, but they are doing things; making things happen!

How Can We Support Each Other?
I encourage all my sistah's and brotha's to help each other out. Stop hating on one another and lets push each other so that we all can be successful in our endeavors. It's that easy! When you see a black business owner trying to get support on Facebook, Twitter, etc, all it takes is a simple "Like" and/or a "Share". When you are handed a business card, don't just throw it away because it may not benefit you, put it in someones hand it would benefit. Help spread the word about our businesses! Let's build up our businesses so that we can join the ranks of those fortune 500 companies. 

Don't judge a book by its cover either. Everyone has to start from somewhere. Take my family mortuary for instance (Exquisite Family Mortuary). We are a humble establishment in a store front building right now. However, we do excellent quality work and guarantee our families exquisite, affordable services. Our goal is to grow and expand, and continue providing the community with affordable services. But, of course, people look at our location and judge our quality of service based off that without even giving us a chance. And it baffles me how people with no money would rather go to the big, extravagant places where they're guaranteed to spend more, rather then giving the people just starting out a chance. 

So, I am asking my black community to start showing your own so love and support. Let's help build each other! Stop talking about one another. If another black business is your competitor, don't hate on them! Still show your love. It's enough business to go around. 

LET"S SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER!

Author: MissExquisiteBeauty (MEB)

~Inspired by Black History Month~

© 2013,All rights reserved to MissExquisiteBeauty.

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Exquisite Family Mortuary

Exquisite Family Mortuary is a new family owned and operated mortuary that desires to help the community by offering affordable services. Although humble in size, we guarantee exquisite quality services to Everyone. Exquisite is offering complete funeral services starting at $1895.00. Contact an arrangement counselor for more information 323.753.0788. Please consider us. Thank you and God Bless.

All You Need Is Patience!

Saying goes, "patience is a virtue". Like everyone in the world, I have a problem with being patient. It seems to be one of the hardest things to do! As a child, you can't wait to get older, you can't wait to drive, can't wait to turn 18, can't wait to graduate, can't wait to move out, can't wait to turn 21....etc. As an adult, not having this quality can turn into STRESS! That's all it is. You can't wait to get a good job, can't wait to get a promotion, can't wait to get married, can't wait to have kids, can't wait for your kids to get out of your house, can't wait on the LORD.....etc. Right now, I am trying to activate this quality in my life. I know that God has something Awesome planned for my life, it's just up to me to be patient and wait on Him. For the first time in a long time, I am actually Excited about the future! I know that God is going to blessed me with an AMAZING man. I know that God is going to bless me with healthy, beautiful kids. I know that God is going to bless my mortuary (Exquisite Family Mortuary) and bless me with a successful business. God , "is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us" Ephesians 3:20. 

The following is an article related to the subject that I found interesting. Hope you enjoy as well!

:-)~Ms. Ray

P.S. I Get Paid To Write Blogs Like These! Would You Like To As Well? Click here to find out how!

 

Developing Patience

by Sue Annabrooke Jones

     This article appeared in the December, 2004-January, 2005 issue of The Isis Scrolls.

      As we human beings adjust to the ever-increasing speed of modern life, we often lose our patience, and in ways that would have been unimaginable even a few short decades ago. We sigh when forced to wait at ATMs, curse our computers for being so slow and honk our horns at slowpokes in traffic. Timeliness certainly has its rightful place in the scheme of things, but it's sheer folly to demand that everyone and everything around us move at the pace we dictate. Most of us could learn to be a little more patient.

      The good news is that patience is a mental skill, one that can be practiced and eventually mastered, even by the most impatient person.

      Usually we hear about exercising patience as it pertains to something else, like raising children or starting a business. The idea of cultivating patience for its own sake gets little attention, but there are some strong, compelling reasons for doing so. Impatience makes us lose our perspective, which hinders our power to create what we want and makes us vulnerable to attracting more of what we don't want. And losing patience constitutes a misuse of spiritual power.

      Think about it: most of us wouldn't even dream of handing over our innate power, for example, to think for ourselves to some religious authority or fascist dictator; yet daily we give away our power to remain calm and centered to things like long lines at the supermarket and inept sales transactions. If genius, as Michelangelo once asserted, is eternal patience, then surely we are all spiritual nincompoops at times.

      Impatience also takes it toll on our bodies, because it generates stress, which elevates blood pressure and wreaks havoc with the body's internal organs and immune system. Lack of patience harms the social side of life too: it strains relationships, causes discord in group situations and sets a bad example. And impatience often produces haste which, we are told, makes waste.

      Patience, on the other hand, empowers us at all levels. Cultivating it requires the desire to change and a good strategy, as well as discernment and persistence. When you find yourself on the verge of losing patience, try one or more of the following techniques.

      - Get real. Adjust your perceptions to the reality of the situation at hand. Don't work yourself into a lather over nothing.

      - Resist the temptation to emulate the demanding behaviors of impatient friends, relatives and coworkers. This is an easy trap to fall into, hold your ground.

      - Look within to understand why you react impatiently to certain situations. Dig deeply if necessary, because appearances can be deceptive. Impatience may flow from some other dynamic, like inflexibility, lack of empathy, the need to control people and situations, chronic naivete about how long it takes to get things done or an unchallenged attitude learned early on in life. Once you've discovered the cause, identify the interior and exterior factors involved, then mentally weigh each one to distinguish what's truly important from what's not. Determine where your attachment lies, then devise a plan for wresting yourself from its grip.
 - Practice restraint. Stop and consider the harm you might inflict by acting or speaking impulsively toward someone who moves through life at a difference pace. Then mentally list the immediate and long-term benefits of holding back.

      - Talk to yourself. Remind yourself how important tolerance and respect are. Ask yourself, "Who appointed you Czar of the Universe?" Or say things like, "This too is part of Divine Order" and "Accept a little more, agonize a little less." Continue your line of self-speak until you are feeling calm and peaceful again.

      - Of course, you'll need to tailor your interior dialog to fit the situation. For example, if you find yourself losing patience with a child, remind yourself how long it took you to learn something as a child. If it's an adult you're being impatient with, ask yourself: "Which is better, trying to hurry others to get in step with you or making them feel accepted, supported and appreciated?" Feeding your mind with the appropriate self-talk for the occasion can go a long way toward mastering patience.

      - Use creative visualization to re-frame situations that try your patience. For example, you can playfully visualize an entirely different perspective, one grounded in perfect patience, even if it seems out of character for you. Mentally rework and refine this scenario to a new model, one that is the most satisfying and beneficial for all concerned. Hold onto this ideal and revisit it whenever you find yourself becoming impatient.

      - Write notes to yourself, reminding yourself to be more patient, and post them in conspicuous places. If you're at a loss for words, consider one of the following quotations:

      "Patience and fortitude conquer all things." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

      "If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." — Chinese Proverb

      "The strongest of all warriors are these two: time and patience." — Leo Tolstoy

      "He that can have patience can have what he will." — Benjamin Franklin

      "The reward of patience is patience." — St. Augustine.

      - Meditate on patience. That last quotation above has profound occult significance and is worthy seed for meditation.

      - Affirm patience daily. "I enjoy living in the power and peace of patience" is a good affirmation. So is "I choose to live in harmony with the greater rhythm of life."

      - Lastly, but very importantly, reinforce your spiritual approach to cultivating patience with practical strategies like these: (1) If you're going out, allow yourself ample time to get to your destination. (2) Schedule trips to gasoline stations, libraries, etc. for times when they won't be crowded. (3) Identify those situations that try your patience, then prepare for them by bringing along some music or reading material. (4) Go for a walk. Physical exercise dissipates tension and restores mental poise. (5) Patience wears thin when blood sugar drops, so stay ahead of your hunger. (6) Get more sleep. Lack of sleep compromises your ability to deal effectively with trying situations.

Yes! Dark & Lovely!

 

 

ME!

Okay, so today I had a few errands to run before going into the office. At the risk of sounding conceited, on a good day (lol), I get compliments from both men and women. Today I must've been "working it' because I was getting compliments everywhere I went. One guy even said I stopped him in his tracks, lol. But, then there's always that one guy that has to ruin it by looking at me all surprised and saying, "Oh my God, you are so beautiful...for a dark skinned girl". UGH, WHHHHHHHHYYYYYY!!!!??? Lol, I know, just a little dramatic. But really why is that? Why can't I just be a beautiful woman and that's it? It always amazes me when I get a man that has to do a double take at me as if they are shocked that I'm actually cute. 

NEWS FLASH: YES people! There are beautiful women that are dark skinned!!!!

 

I personally have a few in my family alone.......

 

My other aunt & her husband

My Granny

My Aunt

So see, yes, there are plenty of "dark and lovely's" out there people! LOL! The following is an article related to the subject that I found interesting. Hope you enjoy as well!

:-)~Ms. Ray

P.S. I Get Paid To Write Blogs Like These! Would You Like To As Well? Click here to find out how!

She’s Pretty For A Dark Skinned Girl….

Usher’s estranged wife Tameka Foster has spoken out for the first time in the form of a Huffington Post blog titled “She’s Pretty For a Dark Skinned Girl”. In the article she discusses systematic racism in the black community as well as her own personal struggles of being a dark skinned woman. She writes:

Often dark-skinned women are considered mean, domineering and standoffish and it was these very labels that followed Michelle Obama during the campaign for her husband’s presidency and which she has had to work tirelessly to combat. I was appalled when I heard a Black woman refer to Michelle Obama as unattractive. The conversation turned into why President Obama picked her as his mate. No one in the witch-hunt made reference to the possibility that Michelle Obama was smart, funny, caring, a good person, highly accomplished or brilliant. Nor did they mention that she previously was President Obama’s supervisor. If she were fair skinned, petite with long straight or wavy hair, would the same opinions be linked to her? I seriously doubt it. It is believed that for the dark skinned, dreams are less obtainable.

In fact, I have read similar comments about myself that I am “dark, aggressive, bossy and bitchy.” It has been stated that my husband should have been with a “younger, more beautiful” woman. Astoundingly, the majority of the remarks come from African-American women and are mimicked by others. Sadly enough, I don’t know nor have I met 99% of those making these assertions. Funny, how we can judge another without having personally seen, interacted with or experienced a person’s character.
As I began to delve into further research on this topic, and the more I read, I concluded that many of our people do not like what they see in the mirror. Seeing ones own reflection in another person and then to dissect it in an effort to destroy can only be the product of self-loathing. Why don’t we congratulate as opposed to hate?
Reading magazines, social media sites, watching our music videos, and television shows feed our appetites for all things ‘beauty”. Rarely, however do I see depictions of grace and elegance in the form of dark complexioned women. I Googled one of the more ethnic models, Alek Wek and I was saddened by the tone of what the bloggers wrote in reference to her complexion, features and hair texture. Ms. Wek’s escape from Sudan, her journey, philanthropy, and groundbreaking success as a supermodel in America is not only beautiful, but it displays her tenacity and character. African-Americans seemed to have lost their eye for character.

She later writes about experiencing a near tragic experience while trying to conform to society’s standard’s of beauty:

I too have fallen prey, while on vacation in Brazil I decided to undergo tummy lipo-surgery. After having an allergic reaction to the anesthesia, I went into cardiac arrest before the procedure ever began. I nearly lost my life over something as superficial as having a flatter mid-section and trying to adapt to society’s traditional definition of beauty. As I nursed my psychological wounds, I began to realize that trying to live up to the prototypes of external beauty paled in comparison to the fact that I have undergone labor, subsequently being blessed to raise five handsome, smart, healthy, intuitive, and happy children. I emerged from my ordeal realizing that my body is an amazing vessel that has given birth to life and that being healthy is what’s important and nothing more. [Read the entire article here]

There were so many truths in the article I don’t know where to begin but I will say I come from (what would be considered) a lower class neighborhood. For some strange reason, I was completely oblivious to the racism within the black community and wasn’t really exposed to it on a larger scale until I attended college. There, I began to meet young women who couldn’t get along with the next chick because she was “light skinned” or “dark skinned” or guys that would say things like “your friend is cute for a dark skinned girl” & women who would say things like “I have to marry a light skinned guy because I don’t want our kids to come out dark”. Just recently a guy friend was talking about a female he was interested in pursuing and he says “I have to check out her hair first. I don’t want my baby to come out with nappy hair”. Those type of comments are very unsettling and those attitudes are mimicked in some of the blog comments I read everyday as well. (RE: Kimora Lee Simmon’s baby).
As far as Tameka, does her skin tone really play a part in the negative response she received from the media after marrying Usher?

Read more: Necole Bitchie.com: She’s Pretty For A Dark Skinned Girl…. http://necolebitchie.com/2009/08/12/shes-pretty-for-a-dark-skinned-girl/#ixzz2I5XjrbkN

 

Dreams Do Come True!

When I was younger, I dreamed a lot! Not only did I dream a lot, I dreamed BIG! As I got older, it seem like I stopped dreaming so big and started allowing my reality to take over. When I was a child, I dreamt of being an actress/singer by the time I was 15 no later then 20 which would then give me the ability to be financially stable and able to do and get whatever I desired. I dreamt that I would meet, fall in love with, and marry the "man of my dreams" by the time I was 25 and have all my kids by the time I was 30. Needless to say, my life didn't quite pan out the way I dreamt it would as a child. But that was a pretty cool dream right....lol. See, when you are a child, you are not afraid to dream BIG. I mean, you have your whole life ahead of you and the time to set things in motion that would allow the opportunity for your dreams to manifest in the future. But, when you reach "adulthood" time starts to decrease, things don't go according to plan, and your ability to dream BIG kind of diminishes as time goes by.  This year, I am going back to childhood. I am going to DREAM BIG again! Just because my dreams that I had as a child did not come true, doesn't mean I shouldn't still Dream Big. I encourage everyone to go back to childhood and get your ability to DREAM BIG back. Make 2013 your year to do whatever it is that you dreamed of doing. Take action and put things in motion. The word says to, "Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it." Habakkuk 2:2. Write down your goals, post it on your walls in your cars. Do whatever it takes to motivate yourself, encourage yourself. This is OUR YEAR! The following is an article that encouraged me today. Hope that you find it encouraging as well.  :-)~Ms. Ray P.S. I Get Paid To Write Blogs Like These! Would You Like To As Well? Click here to find out how! New Dreams for a New Year Amy Carroll

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)

Adulthood often seems like the place where dreams go to die. As a little girl my heart brimmed over with dreams. My parents' and teachers' encouragement convinced me anything was possible, so my prospects increased by the day.

I pictured myself traveling the countryside curing animals like James Herriott in All Creatures Great and Small. I envisioned myself as nanny-extraordinaire like Mary Poppins or an exquisite singer like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music.

The advent of middle school challenged my girlish dreams. Not-so-encouraging peers, realizations of my limitations, and a few failures and hard knocks made me more cautious about my future. Although some dreams remained, others died along the way.

Sitting in a room of friends recently, I listened attentively as they shared a graveyard of dreams. Some dreams were killed by belittling from people who should have been supporters. Other dreams died a slow death when the realities of rent and grocery bills took precedence. Still others had been set on a shelf under a dusty dome of "some day." They wondered if God had forgotten the dreams in their hearts.

They aren't alone. The Bible records story after story of dreamers who had to wait for the fulfillment of their dreams.

Abraham dreamt of a promised nation.

Isaac dreamt of a beautiful woman in a strange land.

Hannah dreamt of a child.

Samuel dreamt of a godly king.

God is not only the weaver of dreams, but He answers them as well. God has limitless creativity, and His creation longs for the opportunity to create and build and produce things of value. He is the one who plants dreams in our heart to be held until the time is right to bring them to life.

I encourage you today to take out your dreams, resuscitate them if necessary and examine them. There may be childhood dreams that need to be allowed to slip away, like balloons gently released into the sky. But what about the others?

Are there any buried dreams that need to be dusted off, held in your hands and offered back to God? He's the one who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine with the ideas He's given. Offer those dreams a new start in this New Year.

Dear Lord, I embrace the dreams You've given me. Help me resist discouragement and hold on to them until I see Your power bring them to reality. In Jesus' Name, Amen.